"She came out! Right Nana?" - Evan (big brother)

"i made that. it's for you." -Evan


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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

she's too tired to talk so i blog


apparently the name of this blog has drawn some interest, first off - not gay. no qualifying statement after that.


wife is 8 mo's preggers, and she wonders if i use this forum as an outlet to "talk shit on my big gay blog, you gay fag."


her use of hateful language has no limits in regards to our homosexual friends - and sometimes chinese people: gay fucker, dumb fucker, stupid fucker - chinese fuckin' fucker, put peepee in MY coke. almost everything ends in F***er. that's just how she rolls.



and that's how i know she loves me, i suppose. she's funnier than I am, but she has limits on her use of colorful language... or she just prefers favorites (she was just standing behind me when i wrote this, and i thought she left but she just came back over my shoulder ---- schlurping on a hefty sip of water ... and breathing heavily into my ear).


anyway, i was gonna write about my cats tonight (or feline fuckers) - Jonas (fat orange fucker) has this phobia about me grabbing his tail. If you happen to brush it with the palm of your hand he sorta squeeks and flinches - if you actually hold it in your palm and wak around with him for a couple steps he meows a blood curdling cry and rolls on the carpet.


i imagine that when he was a stray some little kid or older homless person, on the mean streets of suburban cincinatti, oh, who didn't care nuthin for his feelings - or future tramatic stress - got him all liqoured and ruffied up; then clutched is fat furry tail - hoisted him in the air and flung him into some filthy garbage can behind some sleazy dive bar. I bet he gets flashbacks and that why he flinches so bad.


Lola (lolo-loh-loh-loh-la) kinda likes it when you grab her tail, she'll walk around in a circle if you just hold her tail kinda tight. she has an awful meow though, i think she smokes 2 packs of cigarettes when we're not around because she needs a mechanical larynx to utter anything vocal. she is joan rivers reincarnated (joan rivers is dead, don't be fooled).

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moving right along, to my friends whom i have not had much contact with since i moved, welcome to my lame blog. my search for real friends has had me at quite a loss... the first few nights out here we met some people, decided to go to some bars with them > we wound up at a bar called the library where one of the guys did some hippity-hoppity dance in the middle of the bar while his friends (our new acquintances) chanted "HAPPY FEET! HAPPY FEET! HAPPY FEEEEEEET!" ... "yeh." I then stood next to him explain to his fiance following this exhibition: "what baby? they like my happy feet." --- if anyone ever saw part of that movie (happy feet) and were of legal drinking age they should prolly not admit to it, much less dance fervently in any place that wasn't an auditorium.


we parted ways.


we met some great people otherwise - SUPERNICE. we are afraid that if we spend too much time with them then they will ultimately be condemned to spending an eternity in hell with us. and we don't want to bring these good people down >>> for fuck's sake, from day one without even knowing these people they helped us MOVE IN!! a far cry from a place where i would peer out of windows and tell my wife "wow, that's dudes got a big fuckin entertainment center to carry. sucks to be that dude." we really like our neighbors, just wish they were a little more jaded.


and the most recent event - i answered a MEET UP online for an austin film group. fuckin hell, i must be desperate. it never fails that geek film nerds come out of the woodwork in droves in these types of situations... but it's rare that we find one with so very public "**mommy issues."


** i will discuss later.


anyway, i was supposed to help one of them on their script - which takes place in movie called terminatrix-delta-beta9-freejack-runner (which was not the name of the script, but it should be because it smelled like nerd so much i felt like i had just been pants-trashcanned-and-atomic situpped all at once).


*just click the link*


mommy issues wrote a script about some dude humpin' some chick, then saying he was the man. after much debate, the chick he was doin' says that he's not the man ... his bro's the man.


well, the last line in that conversation was "that's a mean thing to say mom." --- if you don't get it, because my description fall short. the chick that was being humped was the dude's mom --- and his mom was humpin her other son, his brother. ---- don't fuck with online meet ups man, it'll fuck you up for life.


so anyway, i've abandoned my search for a film crew once again (for now) and i am now looking at making more money for my new fam damily.



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