music - it's late...

i don't really have anything specific to talk about, i just dont feel like going to sleep right now - really i just feel like listening to music. i have nothing going on, its saturday night - im a father, im a husband, im not doing anything but maintaining responsibility.

sometimes you feel like that is such a hateful word, truely... but in all honesty having a bottle of liberty ale and trying not to listen to any barenaked ladies in rotation on my itunes sounds like all the responsibility i have at the moment. that and... thinking about supporting my family.

looking for a new job, this one ain't making it for me anymore - it was fun while it lasted. time to move on.

i think about Evan a lot. i think about how i am to protect him, love him, help to make the most of his life. he is precious, he is about to breathe life in a few short weeks. we just got his bed today - we haven't even put it together for him.

he doesn't even have a fuckin room. BUT he will. i guess thinking fourth dimensionaly would be useful right now.

i miss my friends i miss my family i miss california... but my life would be very different if we didn't live here. i would be very, very apprehensive about having a child - but here, i'm elated and i can't wait. we can afford to increase the human race without it being TOO socially irresponsible.

i feel bad because we are not using clothe diapers, i feel like i should but goddamnit - CLOTHE diapers = shitty clothes.

i just can't get around it. i'm an idiot, prolly an asshole too.

by the way- i met some weird fucks in austin that were apart of an online film meetup. not gonna do that again, dont know how a friend of mine keeps meeting people online. people online are like retards that can't function in normal everyday society... how do they carry conversation? how can they interact? how can they be anything but fucking weird mutherfuckers? dunno. that's why people online send pictures of their junk to little kids.

they are fucking weird mutherfuckers. and they ain't right in the head.

anyway - time to turn in: we had a baby shower today. it was nice.

Now: pretty girls make graves: Something Bigger, Something Brighter
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