stimulating

work - sometimes i get some downtime... i spawned an email string with this simple pontification about the men's restroom:

So - I think stalls should be placed in the men's bathroom so people don't feel like they need to talk to one, whilst one is in a most vulnerable position.

Just sayin'

I'm a little jealous that we do not have but 2 in there... also, don't ever shake [anyone's] hand EVER. You may catch Typhoid fever.

again - Jus' Sayin'

--- response from fellow female co-worker ---

OH GROSS!!

You know... I have always pondered up on the peculiarity of the no stall thing. It seems to me to be quite archaic to stand at a trough semi-nude in public whilst performing a bodily function of relevance.

One would think men would become positively bored of staring at peters all day long. Personally, I enjoy the privacy a stall provides. The only complaint I have is that women, especially in the work place, whilst performing a number duex will sit in the stall and pretend that you have not entered the lavatory. They will freeze up and not make a sound for an extended length of time whilst waiting for the offending urinator to finish and leave. Upon which time, they will once again commence with the poo de deux.

I have, on occasion, been tempted to languish just to see if I can make them uncomfortable, as well as loudly proclaim after a long languish, "I know that you are in there pooping, why don't you just poop already and leave."

---another female response to confessing performing said function in a secluded, far removed restroom... on another floor altogether... makes perfect sense.

---which prompted the following:

There are so many circumstances concerning this particular topic that I have found to quite peculiar:

1) Why MUST the person standing in the urinal next to me TALK to me? This is not a social gathering. We are not having drinks... It is a necessary bodily function, if I were emptying my dialysis bag would you want to talk to me about what I did over the weekend? Inappropriate! I am not here to high five you, nor make comparisons - please leave me alone.

2) Washing hands: What is so threatening about running water and soap dispensers? Perhaps it's not threatening at all, perhaps it is too difficult to operate. Who knows? But that is a regression to primate if you ask me.
3) Execution of numero dos and flatulence combined: I can see where the opposite gender may be put off by this other necessary bodily function... It can be quite uncomfortable in a quasi-public setting, but I must say... have you ever been next to a grunter?? If not, I shall inform you of the extreme hilarity which ensues. That and repetitive flatulence always makes me almost laugh out loud. AND for the sole reason that - IT SHOULD NOT BE SO DIFFICULT! It really shouldn't, you just really need a proper diet and lay off of lactose heavy product and red meat.
***flatulence is downright funny***
4) Lastly - do not bring your beverage into the restroom. That should be evident, it is utterly disgusting to imagine someones farty air wafting around and mixing with your diet coke. Also leave your meals outside as well, must you security guard your precious food and drink while you are encumbered? How will you ever survive if you happen to leave it outside your eyesight for a minimum 2 minutes (maximum of half an hour - 45 minutes)? Those are not comfort items that you cannot live without.

---

and i must say - there has been quite discussion since these emails that have prompted conversations on how pioneers never washed their hands after Le Poo De Duex. which i find interesting that one would even be so brave to expound on pioneers... why not talk about dinosaurs and how they never washed their dino-paw-hands before they stalked and devoured their prey? excellent point! you must be a fucking retard! (i apologize if you're retarded).

but I really don't... not in the least. you should apologize for having a glimmer of a thought process.

enjoy the time spent in the drab, deadpan, stinky restroom of where your career lies. you may be blessed to go in on Monday and find that the janitor went in there over the weekend and fixed the "fresh air dispenser" and now said poopy air is a pleasant concoction of a soft, rainy, summer breeze and farty atmosphere of the guy who sits behind you and smells his fingers.

DNG

Lupe Fiasco - don't get it twisted

babysitter, so babysit!

nothing against babysitting - but it can be a bit more wear and tear when u have a baby o your own to take along with you... when u actually go babysit.

--- on a side note ---

good to know my cousin plays lotto - i should play more. i could win - I could! u could too... then u could blow it all on hookers and cocaine. 

so an update on "snore gate" i haven't been on the couch in a few - but we'll see how long that flimsy record lasts. i did however make purchasing of new snoring stopper "pure sleep" (ufc certified) mouthpiece. it kinda fucks w/ your jaw so your airways don't get plugged.. therefore, snoring stopper.

and in the morning you feel refreshed and relaxed and just like you took a hard right cross to your jaw. oooh it's a little stiff. but it's worth it - i suppose. 

work is great by the way, i really like working with HW, and merrill is quite the class act. very profesh. 

that's it for now - keep turning in and wasting your time... i'm sure someday it'll be worth it. 

---just being lame,

nickolaus.