stimulating

work - sometimes i get some downtime... i spawned an email string with this simple pontification about the men's restroom:

So - I think stalls should be placed in the men's bathroom so people don't feel like they need to talk to one, whilst one is in a most vulnerable position.

Just sayin'

I'm a little jealous that we do not have but 2 in there... also, don't ever shake [anyone's] hand EVER. You may catch Typhoid fever.

again - Jus' Sayin'

--- response from fellow female co-worker ---

OH GROSS!!

You know... I have always pondered up on the peculiarity of the no stall thing. It seems to me to be quite archaic to stand at a trough semi-nude in public whilst performing a bodily function of relevance.

One would think men would become positively bored of staring at peters all day long. Personally, I enjoy the privacy a stall provides. The only complaint I have is that women, especially in the work place, whilst performing a number duex will sit in the stall and pretend that you have not entered the lavatory. They will freeze up and not make a sound for an extended length of time whilst waiting for the offending urinator to finish and leave. Upon which time, they will once again commence with the poo de deux.

I have, on occasion, been tempted to languish just to see if I can make them uncomfortable, as well as loudly proclaim after a long languish, "I know that you are in there pooping, why don't you just poop already and leave."

---another female response to confessing performing said function in a secluded, far removed restroom... on another floor altogether... makes perfect sense.

---which prompted the following:

There are so many circumstances concerning this particular topic that I have found to quite peculiar:

1) Why MUST the person standing in the urinal next to me TALK to me? This is not a social gathering. We are not having drinks... It is a necessary bodily function, if I were emptying my dialysis bag would you want to talk to me about what I did over the weekend? Inappropriate! I am not here to high five you, nor make comparisons - please leave me alone.

2) Washing hands: What is so threatening about running water and soap dispensers? Perhaps it's not threatening at all, perhaps it is too difficult to operate. Who knows? But that is a regression to primate if you ask me.
3) Execution of numero dos and flatulence combined: I can see where the opposite gender may be put off by this other necessary bodily function... It can be quite uncomfortable in a quasi-public setting, but I must say... have you ever been next to a grunter?? If not, I shall inform you of the extreme hilarity which ensues. That and repetitive flatulence always makes me almost laugh out loud. AND for the sole reason that - IT SHOULD NOT BE SO DIFFICULT! It really shouldn't, you just really need a proper diet and lay off of lactose heavy product and red meat.
***flatulence is downright funny***
4) Lastly - do not bring your beverage into the restroom. That should be evident, it is utterly disgusting to imagine someones farty air wafting around and mixing with your diet coke. Also leave your meals outside as well, must you security guard your precious food and drink while you are encumbered? How will you ever survive if you happen to leave it outside your eyesight for a minimum 2 minutes (maximum of half an hour - 45 minutes)? Those are not comfort items that you cannot live without.

---

and i must say - there has been quite discussion since these emails that have prompted conversations on how pioneers never washed their hands after Le Poo De Duex. which i find interesting that one would even be so brave to expound on pioneers... why not talk about dinosaurs and how they never washed their dino-paw-hands before they stalked and devoured their prey? excellent point! you must be a fucking retard! (i apologize if you're retarded).

but I really don't... not in the least. you should apologize for having a glimmer of a thought process.

enjoy the time spent in the drab, deadpan, stinky restroom of where your career lies. you may be blessed to go in on Monday and find that the janitor went in there over the weekend and fixed the "fresh air dispenser" and now said poopy air is a pleasant concoction of a soft, rainy, summer breeze and farty atmosphere of the guy who sits behind you and smells his fingers.

DNG

Lupe Fiasco - don't get it twisted

babysitter, so babysit!

nothing against babysitting - but it can be a bit more wear and tear when u have a baby o your own to take along with you... when u actually go babysit.

--- on a side note ---

good to know my cousin plays lotto - i should play more. i could win - I could! u could too... then u could blow it all on hookers and cocaine. 

so an update on "snore gate" i haven't been on the couch in a few - but we'll see how long that flimsy record lasts. i did however make purchasing of new snoring stopper "pure sleep" (ufc certified) mouthpiece. it kinda fucks w/ your jaw so your airways don't get plugged.. therefore, snoring stopper.

and in the morning you feel refreshed and relaxed and just like you took a hard right cross to your jaw. oooh it's a little stiff. but it's worth it - i suppose. 

work is great by the way, i really like working with HW, and merrill is quite the class act. very profesh. 

that's it for now - keep turning in and wasting your time... i'm sure someday it'll be worth it. 

---just being lame,

nickolaus.

target wine

u gotta love the slight haze wine give you after your first half a glass... um, considering your glass is more like a plastic cup with the words "RUDY'S" on it.

and really - is there anything wrong with drinking alone?! i didn't think so either, friend. so Cheers on that high note. that being said, i believe there's another half bottle here. i'll have some for you.

the house is asleep tonight, early asleep tonight. we went to austin children's museum and it was pretty cool, cept for the couple pederast gentlemen with their high-end digital cameras. they had beards, men with beards touch kids where the underwear covers.

it's a fuckin fact. so hide behind your beard.

*SIGH* alright, it's not true.

what's that you say, i'm jealous because i can't grow facial hair and i'm 31 yrs old. I am thirty one years old and incapable of growing a mustache (or a beard).

fuck all ya'll - HELL YAH - i'm jealous. why am i so cursed that i cannot stroke the fine hairs which grow from my FACE!

instead, I grow "fly hairs" - how gross is that. you can't really shave them because they are (usually) higher up on your face and they may grow back thicker and darker and grosser-er. so you have to pluck. holy-goat-god plucking faces.

work is better, but i think i need to calm down... in life. i think it may be lack of an outlet. i am still waiting to find degenerate alcoholic misfits with the same defeated ideology that i have.

i need to get out more.

hopefully if i find them they will be married with a couple kids. then we an all booze and let the kids play lord of the flies.

*COUGH* whoops - sucked down some wine down the wrong tube and now it's all over the wall.
---------------
i'm listening to the cranberries - everyone else...

say what you want, it's great.

irish-catholic-celtic-soccer(football)-banshee-wailing-screeching, who could ask for more?
---------------
prolly sleeping on the couch again tonight - dammit all to hell. the warden has no qualms with booting me out in the middle of my precious slumber to post up in the living room.

i snore. WTF? we only lived together for (countless) years before getting married, you'd think she ignore that by now - NOPE. not a chance. usually i snore louder when i have some tasty elixir.

vino0

sleepuy

gnight.

somebody hit me back and give me some new bands to listen to; fuckin good for nothing friends (come out and visit though).

nickolaus.

shark

twilight zone

"chocolate mess"

... and it means exactly what you think it means. thus far, my favorite phrase that i've learned since i've been in Texas.

its a chocolate mess in bakersfield. that's what "HW" would call it. just real fuckin shitty shit storm down there in b town.

that must be why i'm getting a visit from Ma - right after my gramma passes...

see ya soon with pictures - and try to watch purple rain again cause it's AWESOME!

peace.

what's next??? 2009-10-10

i just haven't been interested in writing for quite some time - i just don't find that i have anything to contribute. besides this computer is not the ideal for doing anything as it sucks bawls, most of the time i just sit and watch the green bars load incredibly slowly.

at first it goes quickly, up to 2 bars. then it stops, and half an hour later the rest of the bars fill in.

it's so fuckin annoying.

plus half of the time i hit my elbows on the kitchen table.
aside from that - me, being the genious that i am - zip tied everything in back of the computer so that the mouse has a confined space that goes ... oh about 3 centimeters from the monitor.

(WHINE, WHINE, WHINE - i know)

i'm just sayin' - but as the 31st yr of my existence rolls around i am really starting to feel that i desperately need to do some kind of exercise so my bones don't cease up and my fluidity turns to a long forgotten memory. my knees pop, back hurts, and i cant' see shit at night. moving on.

--------------------------------
I really love my crazy wife, i really love my rambunctious son. i really love my life, i just wish i loved my job.

but is there anything to love if you just show up for the paycheck, in this line of work there's only one motto: "just show up everyday, on time." my friend megan has been doing something fulfilling and worthwhile for most of her "career oriented life" but those jobs are tough to get paid at. while other jobs that just kick your ass tend to pay more, but you really fucking hate it.
i often soon hope to stumble into to something that would pay me decent money and also be a hoot to work at.

maybe that will happen at Merrill Lynch, but i doubt it > seems to be more of the same but i plan to put on my best shit eatin grin. just right now it's a bad time for people in the financial sector looking for a paycheck - i am very nervous about this move, but i feel that i am justified because every sector of this industry is left to stand on corrupt stilts that high paid CEOs have established.

so it doesn't matter if i stay w/ whomever b/c every company is in the same situation... totally and absolutely fucked - just one may be less fucked than another the difference is minuscule.
----------------------------------
i'm not really such a bitter dude, it's just i've got a lot on my mind right now - apparently my extended family will soon tear each other apart. THANK GOD i'm way out here (TX) and they're way out in CA.
while i was out there we were able to get away to show Evan the ocean (TWICE, as the first time our camera went dead). we have some great pictures!!

The flight out there was incredibly smooth - Evan was an absolute PEACH!!

i suppose that'll be it for now - this damn computer is getting on my nerves. hopefully we'll get move some things around in this apt or get some stuff for this computer that makes it faster.
or maybe i'll just go to public libraries and post.
****************
here's a quick rundown of things going on:
1) Sarah has been ROCKING in the kitchen as almost every night she cooks something great.

2) Evan has now found out how funny and cute he is so he smiles and laughs hysterically at himself quite a bit.

3) we did not qualify for a townhome recently so we decided to extend our apt lease for a year (it was the most affordable option).

4) Morgan Stanley has been kickin my ass lately as i work for a couple very demanding people and ... the entire branch office.

5) Merrill Lynch threw a bunch of money at me to go over there and do a hell of a lot less, by
working for only 1 very demanding person.

6) My brother and I have buried that hatchet and we are brothers again, and not people who have to put up with each other because we're family. hopefully this lasts.

7) Sarah and I are in need of planning a budget and sticking to it, as we recently had our asses kicked this month. we vow to not let finances kick our ass again.

8) Evan can pull himself up on just about anything, but then he falls head first in the direction that his head tends to drift.

9) my big crazy family will prolly divide into three of four separate tribes/clans in the following months as my grandmother waves goodbye to be w/ my grandpa... eternally. it's a very strange and sordid affair in this quagmire called Bakersfield, CA.

10) i need to sell my maxima, but i like the car so much when it runs like a champ - but it will cost quite a pretty penny to get it to run like that again. we are trying to sell "Darla" my (and Tony H's) first major purchase in college. She's a 27" Sony Trinitron.

11) and we need to get rid of some cats, because --- i hate them. and they are filthy, everything is cat poop or cat vomit or cat hair. Evan is stuck to playing in his pack and play or on the blanket in his room.

12) cats can't help but to stick their hairy face in water cups and spill shit everywhere on everything. hate. those. damn. cats.
i can't think of anything else, except those effin' cats now.

13) Looking forward to hanGHing with the cousins out here in ATX!!!

(i got one of these kids hulk hands, guess which one...)

14) lastly - going to BW3's for birfphday lunch today, man i need to eat a salad b/c i was hurtin fer certain last night (2 times) around 2AM and 4AM. explosive. however, i cannot resist the temptation of some potentially great and volcanic buff wings.

---
recent film: no end in sight - it's what we all knew about the war on Iraq. those who had enough sense to pay attention that is. no need to watch it unless you like to belabor the point that we have absolutely no direction or leadership in the white house and we haven't had it in about 8 years. gotta love family values doctrines from politicians, and then sending YOUR family our to police a country that's been delivered to hell and now resorts to unrest in numerous militant factions.

music: Lil Wayne - i'm intrigued to be honest. how did i get here? but it's what i've been into now. amilli.


lates - DNG.

the summer is leaving a few bumps

Last weekend Sarah's cousins (Chase and Chelsea) came out to Austin, we went on an 8 hr float down the Guadalupe river (mind you it was only supposed to be about 6 hrs... but the water's real low). they all 3 received major sunburns and a few bumps and bruises since the ROCKs were sticking so far out of the water.

I managed to make it out with a twisted ankle, scrapes on my back, and a slight rash from paddling the damn inner "TOOB."

Along the way Chase and I climbed a tree and jumped off a branch about 20 ft above the water. the tricky part was climbing up since i was wearing my Chucks and the only thing we had to hold on to were loose wooden pegs about 6 inches in length.

The funny thing was this 9 yr old kid was jammin up those pegs and into the water at 5 min intervels... i felt like a pussy. a very old one at that.

movin' right along, my wife and Chelsea managed to "take a nap" on the river ... while floating. Well, where i'm from we call it passing out... granted the four of us went through 3 cases of corona and PABST (fuck yeh - PABST BLUE RIBBON!) in about an hour and a half... needless to say we were really annoyed and frustrated as hell during the rest of the 6 hrs we were on the river.

Some of those randoms our there are really wierd, this dude named Joe (i think... who knows.. he said his name was sean) was a pestering fuck that wouldn't leave us alone.

it'll be a while before i do that again, i'm thinking maybe barton springs for the next few months.

anyway, i don't get very much time to blog and when i do i surf on craigslist for something kinda funny to post... but today i found this.

And I thought I'd re-post it; i have my own feelings about it just figured i'd share.

RAVE: My Life Since Getting Out of Prison

If you have the time... late night surfing the internet doing nothing i suggest you read it.

It might put a few things in perspective.

Evan's fimbling around with his Binky so I think i'd best be going... Sarah's asleep right now. She's funny. She just bought some make up from Sephora and put it on - it looks real good, but shortly afterwards she fell asleep, that was about 2 hrs ago.

i always let her sleep on the weekends since she doesn't seem to get much rest at night.

music: been listening to Dusty Springfield (playing now: You don't have to say you love me)
---
DNG

bliggity-blog-blah

action: itunes - shufflin'
sound: kickin myself - as tall as lions

found myself a new job at morgan stanley, pretty good deal. Evan should like it, I can still spend some time with him and mommy... and mommy can continue to stay home for a little bit longer at least.

Dax and Jen (my cousins) are coming to Austin, fuck yeh! that's so awesome, finally someone from CA is moving out here, and better yet - It's family (they fall into the "save the drama fo yo momma " category). it'll be good, just fun times.

my mom is SOOO ready to leave cali it's amazing, they are almost here ... practically, my dad just has to transfer to another shell refinery (sp?, whatev's)

so right now things seem pretty cool, it's the july 4th - we do not know what we will be doing, but Barton Springs sounds like a good idear, w/ my new board shorts (my old ones felt more like underwear).

also, we got this thing (10-min trainer) it's pretty fabulous, feeling stronger already... but still got that belly. oh well, just started it. well Evan's is up and talking to me - so i best be leaving blogtown.

adios!
DNG

Evan pictures

all pics of the baby...

nena-nena-buh-nena-fee-fi-mo-mena... NENA

We all have something to cling to our childhood; my gramma Gonzaga made me this when I was about 8 (I think). It’s my star wars empire strikes back blanket – and when she leaves I will always have the blanket. It also has my name on it; on the back side at the top it says “NICKY.”



Most of my older cousin’s still call me Nicky, a lot of my cousins in general who grew up with me just call me that. It reminds me of a time when our gargantuan family all managed to get along – we were all poor for the most part so I guess we kinda all had each other. I dunno.

But for sure, it reminds me of some very happy times – and in some ways I hope they never stop calling me Nicky.

Elena Castaneda “Nena” – that’s a fuckin Mexican name if I do say so myself…

the wild child, our family has a bit of a WILD gene in the mix… we can be emotional people… Nena exemplifies this gene to a T. All the time growing up, even as my cousin, I found her to be a big sister. My big crazy, dramatic sister… not at all like my brother who is very serious, very stable… but we found something in each other and we always seemed to click. We got each other. I think we both had this wild gene, but as my parents were able to suppress that enough to keep me sane. Nena, on the other hand, had to figure out how to deal with life on her own. It was mostly just her and her Mom (Aunt Angie).

When I was younger I used to stay over their house with my brother, my memory sucks so I don’t remember much … I do remember hundreds of crafts, like quilts and wooden … … things. – Fuck, I don’t remember what they were. There was just a lot of wood stuff.

But the quilts man, I remember those. Patches and patches and cotton all neatly lain out next to a sewing machine in the back of the house. A small, modest house in the middle of the Bakersfield ghetto, in which they lived and all day long my Aunt quilted some vibrant patchwork she could be proud of.

For real, Nena lived in tha hood. I remember that vividly. I remember the cactus in the front yard that my cousin Tony had the very up-close luxury of finding out that crawling underneath it to get a ball wasn’t really worth it.

Tony also has this wild-child gene. Most of us have it.

Anyway, like most families there is always a jostling of relationships… and from my childhood I sort of grew apart from my aunt and my cousin – I have developed my own path, my own life. And for a long time I felt as if I can focus on myself and my wife and my newborn son. Focus on what I need to do to nurture our future (rhyming is a gift), in our new home so far away from our old one.

My old home, my past.

But nothing is ever forgotten in the past, nothing in the past changes and nothing in the present or future can help fade the memories you keep. The ones you choose to hold on to; and sometimes when you think you’ve forgotten everything an overwhelming flood sends you back into the 80’s with short shorts and bad hair.

Recently my Aunt Angie passed away, and last night I spoke with my big sister. And it hurt to hear the grief in her voice, the pain she feels in her monotone numbness – and the reality that she is a wife and mother of 3, she will find the strength in herself to pick up the pieces and move forward with her memories.

Nena told me that my Aunt Angie was in the process of making a quilt for Evan – it reminds me of my quilt at home in Bakersfield. It’s falling apart, and when I was sixteen she made it for me. At the time I thought it was a crappy gift, but I’m 30 now. I love that quilt, it’s my quilt. And out of everything I’ve received as a gift over all of my birthdays I still have that quilt. I know who gave it to me, and I know it’s because she had nothing else to give.

Nena taught me how to ride a bike, and she told me that she would finish the blanket for Evan. I hope my family is able to get out to California and wrap Evan in it, and bring it home with us.

It would be fucking awesome to see everyone again.

How I do miss California sometimes.

DNG

slow to start - finish with a delicious arrogant bastard

listening to: the shins (on shuffle)

-----------------------

hey-o. i made a playlist for you.

it has been an extremely tumultuous first few weeks, Evan is a totally awesome baby. - last night he slept the whole night through, and that's a SUPER rarity. i think a lot about what i'm supposed to be doing now as a dad, and i gotta say - most of the time i feel like i should be doing more (but i don't know of what more i could possibly do - it confuses me - but not really).

i feel like i should have something to write about, but really i don't. it's like all my thoughts of quirky stupid shit are filled up with work/baby/chores(including eating)/baby/sleep/baby..etc.

not that i'm whining about it (but i AM totally whining) i just wish i had a few moments to dwell on all the people and situations that i am exposed to. - and have a beer with it. but mostly i'm amused by reflections of my past nights flatulence in my slumber, courtesy of my wife.

she balls up her little fist and gives it to me in the ribs, right good. fuckin aye - that shit hurts, but supposedly she tries to wake me "gently" for an hour prior to kickin' the shit out of me in my sleep.

oh well, i go right to sleep immediately after that anyway.

moving on, we took Evan to his first PUB last saturday, he was excited. we split a black and tan, and I gave him some of my onion rings. Sarah and I were extremely impressed, and he also got the hot bartender's digits. and on the way out some haggard-looking scenster dufus chick made a comment about a baby in the bar.

Mind you - nobody else seemed to mind. Just the squinty-eyed-freckel-faced-mullet-having-dumpy-chick who was blocking a seemingly wide enough exit that any normal sized pontiac could have fit through sideways.

she was kind enough to enlighten us on how my kid couldn't be in the pub, but all the other toddlers on the pub patio drinking and playing toddler drinking games could.

whut the fuck? hell yeh - i took my baby to a pub, he liked it! we're going back. both of us are going to fart in that hoe-bag's delicious lager, then evan's gonna take off his diaper and fling it at her big-flat-face.

i hope she enjoys hot-steaming-baby-funk on those sausage pack looking neck/throat rolls, it might get all tangled up in that pre-pubescent wiry beard she had.

then we are going to sit down and have beer batter fish and chips, maybe play guitar hero later. have a great time drinking arrogant bastard!

mom will play halo with us when she sleeps of her drunken slumber.

----------------

note: we only become extremely intoxicated when we are caring for our son, most of the time we are responsible and hard-working adults.

baby pics and stuff:

go here again, and you can see all my pics (thus far) if Evan M!!

i am sooo tired! last night was rough, and this morning we took him to see a snooty pediatrician.

[link]

new pics and new jams

yo, here's some pics sucka!

http://olympus.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=33873305909.589607782209.1202788788069&page=1

you may have to sign in and that makes it kinda gay, but it's some pics of stuff.

music and shit - i know some people hate lists, well i hate people who hate lists... cause i got nuthin' but a list.

(this is my pederast shirt)

new jams: (song - artist)
new york - cat power

mansard roof - vampire weekend

'till kingdom come - dead meadow

superstar - lupe fiasco

songs to apologize - tokyo sex destruction

other jams i really like and find myself listening to a lot:

breakdown (ft. jack johnson) - handsome boy modeling school

the truth - handsome boy modeling school

dance wid' me - hepcat

more adventurous - rilo kiley

heartbreak hotel - roger miller

into the mystic - Van Morrison

... and!

dear sons and daughters of hungry ghosts - wolf parade

"Well I've got a hand,

So I've got a fist,

So I've got a plan,

It's the best that I can do,

Now we'll say 'It's in god's hands'

But god doesn't always have the best god damn plans does he?"

... meet ollie - he's evan's new buddy:

she's too tired to talk so i blog

apparently the name of this blog has drawn some interest, first off - not gay. no qualifying statement after that.

wife is 8 mo's preggers, and she wonders if i use this forum as an outlet to "talk shit on my big gay blog, you gay fag."

her use of hateful language has no limits in regards to our homosexual friends - and sometimes chinese people: gay fucker, dumb fucker, stupid fucker - chinese fuckin' fucker, put peepee in MY coke. almost everything ends in F***er. that's just how she rolls.

and that's how i know she loves me, i suppose. she's funnier than I am, but she has limits on her use of colorful language... or she just prefers favorites (she was just standing behind me when i wrote this, and i thought she left but she just came back over my shoulder ---- schlurping on a hefty sip of water ... and breathing heavily into my ear).

anyway, i was gonna write about my cats tonight (or feline fuckers) - Jonas (fat orange fucker) has this phobia about me grabbing his tail. If you happen to brush it with the palm of your hand he sorta squeeks and flinches - if you actually hold it in your palm and wak around with him for a couple steps he meows a blood curdling cry and rolls on the carpet.

i imagine that when he was a stray some little kid or older homless person, on the mean streets of suburban cincinatti, oh, who didn't care nuthin for his feelings - or future tramatic stress - got him all liqoured and ruffied up; then clutched is fat furry tail - hoisted him in the air and flung him into some filthy garbage can behind some sleazy dive bar. I bet he gets flashbacks and that why he flinches so bad.

Lola (lolo-loh-loh-loh-la) kinda likes it when you grab her tail, she'll walk around in a circle if you just hold her tail kinda tight. she has an awful meow though, i think she smokes 2 packs of cigarettes when we're not around because she needs a mechanical larynx to utter anything vocal. she is joan rivers reincarnated (joan rivers is dead, don't be fooled).

--------------

moving right along, to my friends whom i have not had much contact with since i moved, welcome to my lame blog. my search for real friends has had me at quite a loss... the first few nights out here we met some people, decided to go to some bars with them > we wound up at a bar called the library where one of the guys did some hippity-hoppity dance in the middle of the bar while his friends (our new acquintances) chanted "HAPPY FEET! HAPPY FEET! HAPPY FEEEEEEET!" ... "yeh." I then stood next to him explain to his fiance following this exhibition: "what baby? they like my happy feet." --- if anyone ever saw part of that movie (happy feet) and were of legal drinking age they should prolly not admit to it, much less dance fervently in any place that wasn't an auditorium.

we parted ways.

we met some great people otherwise - SUPERNICE. we are afraid that if we spend too much time with them then they will ultimately be condemned to spending an eternity in hell with us. and we don't want to bring these good people down >>> for fuck's sake, from day one without even knowing these people they helped us MOVE IN!! a far cry from a place where i would peer out of windows and tell my wife "wow, that's dudes got a big fuckin entertainment center to carry. sucks to be that dude." we really like our neighbors, just wish they were a little more jaded.

and the most recent event - i answered a MEET UP online for an austin film group. fuckin hell, i must be desperate. it never fails that geek film nerds come out of the woodwork in droves in these types of situations... but it's rare that we find one with so very public "**mommy issues."

** i will discuss later.

anyway, i was supposed to help one of them on their script - which takes place in movie called terminatrix-delta-beta9-freejack-runner (which was not the name of the script, but it should be because it smelled like nerd so much i felt like i had just been pants-trashcanned-and-atomic situpped all at once).

*just click the link*

mommy issues wrote a script about some dude humpin' some chick, then saying he was the man. after much debate, the chick he was doin' says that he's not the man ... his bro's the man.

well, the last line in that conversation was "that's a mean thing to say mom." --- if you don't get it, because my description fall short. the chick that was being humped was the dude's mom --- and his mom was humpin her other son, his brother. ---- don't fuck with online meet ups man, it'll fuck you up for life.

so anyway, i've abandoned my search for a film crew once again (for now) and i am now looking at making more money for my new fam damily.

best of craigslist (i had no idea)

I am so fucking bored, my apt is full of boxes, big furniture for Evan and two gay cats that like to scratch the folding french doors to the wash room (very thankful for the washer and dryer supplied in the apt).

i started reading best of craigslist - this is what i found and it's awesome! for those who don't know BART is short for Bay Area Rapid Tranist (B.A.R.T). it's like a subway that takes people all around the Bay Area.

Confessions of a BART Fartist - m4w
Date: 2007-12-27, 4:55PM PSTIf V is for Vendetta, F is for Fartist. The first part of the word is “fart” for the act of firing bacteria created air and poo particles at an incredible speed. Everyone one does it, and it has been proven that farts bring joy, yet they are taboo in public.

The second part of the word is “artist” because that is what I am. Much like Picasso wielded a paint and easel, I have the ability to practically fart on command and have perfected the ventriloquist and ricochet methods which allow me to strike with devastating accuracy from cover much like a highly trained sniper.

My main hunting grounds are the mean streets of BART, which I am forced to endure twice a day for half an hour at a time. Many people from other places tell me that BART is great or some similar shit, but anyone who rides it daily like me knows that it sucks. To pay $10 a day for the right to park and ride to and from work is excruciating, especially on the way home when I think about paying to stand on a packed train with a bunch of self absorbed aholes. But I must give BART some credit, for they launched my career as the most lethal vigilante in history.

Here is a list of some of the victims and the methods with which they were punished:
(1) Mr. Read the newspaper to his wife on speaker phone guy: You are on the top of the list for one reason and one reason only; you are without a doubt the biggest asshole in history. Who sits there and yells on speaker phone and reads stories about an axe murderer to his wife during rush hour (in the elderly and handicapped seat no less)? You do. I fought for almost two minutes, desperately pumping the volume up button on my iPod trying to block out your transgressions. My career as a fartist started then, my ignorant self absorbed friend, and you were treated to turkey chili con queso. Oooooh it was hot and wet when I crop dusted you, how did it smell? Call your wife and tell her about it.

(2) Ms. Lower her shoulder and cram her way on to a way too packed train lady: I could not believe you were actually going to try to cram your way on to our way too packed train, but you sealed the deal when you lowered your shoulder and repeatedly rammed your way into the crowded mass of frustrated passengers. It took me a stop or two, but slowly I was able to back my tight buttocks right up to within 2 feet of your short ugly face. I used the silencer once again but you bathed in it. When you cried, “Oh god, who farted?” I was crying I was laughing so hard.

(3) Two teenage girls talking about sex and two teenage guys talking about taking drugs and driving: You have no idea how stupid you sound talking about subjects like that on a silent BART train during the afternoon commute. I saw one lady actually get up and move away because your conversation was so inane and ignorant. Bonus points for the one girl saying she prefers wine and salmon to a beer and burger now, I can’t tell you how impressed we all were with you. The woman behind you who rolled her eyes and slumped in her seat wanted more of your tips on living the high life for sure. And guys, I’m not sure what drug exactly you were talking about taking and then driving on the freeway but I just hope you don’t take anyone with you when you earn your Darwin Awards.

I approached smiling, appearing to be heading for the exit, utterly forgettable in my everyday Dockers with polar fleece pullover. You were all sitting together in the “quad” chairs that face each other and no one else was around you for obvious reasons. The ambient noise from the tunnel meant I was able to really make you shiver when I delivered, I am actually shocked that a burnt hole wasn’t left in the back of my pants. It was one of my fall specials, a preseason pumpkin fart that smells for five minutes. By the time you realized what was happening I was doubled over laughing on the escalator in the station, I hope my gas taught you something valuable. Silence is golden. Next time, more victims and a discussion over which came first – the need to fart or the elevator.

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just thought i'd share, check out some more fun stuff here.

now: Metric - On A Slow Night
previous: Rufus Wainwright - Going To A Town
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d. nicolas gonzaga

music - it's late...

i don't really have anything specific to talk about, i just dont feel like going to sleep right now - really i just feel like listening to music. i have nothing going on, its saturday night - im a father, im a husband, im not doing anything but maintaining responsibility.

sometimes you feel like that is such a hateful word, truely... but in all honesty having a bottle of liberty ale and trying not to listen to any barenaked ladies in rotation on my itunes sounds like all the responsibility i have at the moment. that and... thinking about supporting my family.

looking for a new job, this one ain't making it for me anymore - it was fun while it lasted. time to move on.

i think about Evan a lot. i think about how i am to protect him, love him, help to make the most of his life. he is precious, he is about to breathe life in a few short weeks. we just got his bed today - we haven't even put it together for him.

he doesn't even have a fuckin room. BUT he will. i guess thinking fourth dimensionaly would be useful right now.

i miss my friends i miss my family i miss california... but my life would be very different if we didn't live here. i would be very, very apprehensive about having a child - but here, i'm elated and i can't wait. we can afford to increase the human race without it being TOO socially irresponsible.

i feel bad because we are not using clothe diapers, i feel like i should but goddamnit - CLOTHE diapers = shitty clothes.

i just can't get around it. i'm an idiot, prolly an asshole too.

by the way- i met some weird fucks in austin that were apart of an online film meetup. not gonna do that again, dont know how a friend of mine keeps meeting people online. people online are like retards that can't function in normal everyday society... how do they carry conversation? how can they interact? how can they be anything but fucking weird mutherfuckers? dunno. that's why people online send pictures of their junk to little kids.

they are fucking weird mutherfuckers. and they ain't right in the head.

anyway - time to turn in: we had a baby shower today. it was nice.

Now: pretty girls make graves: Something Bigger, Something Brighter
Previous: The Cramps - Human Fly

new blog

ok - fuckin' diaryland, i tried to go back and act as if nothing ever happened (me and D-land parted ways after college). big mistake, i had no idea how to change the template... it also helped that while i was in college my roomate was getting his masters computer engineering - and i had another roomate that was getting his PhD in mechanical engineering (i am film major). so yeh - TOTALLY LOST in the land of diary!

moving on, i stand proud and announce my soon to be burden on society - Evan M Gonzaga!! yes, well he's no burden on me and his mother. we love him, can't wait to meet him ... i bet he's more fun than the two cats we have. i'm just thinking...

he will be here on or before 2/22/08, and the grandparents are stoked. family is way stoked! here is the first blog in a very long time.

i have desk that cuts into my wrist when i write, it sucks... dunno how to get around it just yet.

i own:
a wife named: Sarah M. Gonzaga
a maxima named: maxima
a couple records
1 fuzzy orange cat
1 black anti-social cat
i do not own:
a house
a monkey
an x-360
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d. nicolas g
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what am i doing:
drinking Anchor Steam Liberty Ale
listening to: tom petty & heartbreakers - break down
previously: prince - let's go crazy